Nothing will stop me...Today is Your DAY

The last few days have been a roller coaster and staying positive has been difficult but today I finally feel like myself again. On Monday, my company made a lot of changes and due to these changes my position no longer exsits hence my one month paid vacation. I was not the only person affected and I know that their must be others that are in way worse positions than me. Talk about a change in plans. After several cry sessions, Brett and I have nailed down a plan so that he can focus on his studies and I can pursue new career opportunities.
Brett, my family, my GBF, friends and all my followers have been so supportive and I couldn't ask for more. The flood of comments and well wishes hasn't gone unnoticed and I definitely appreciate every message. Even thought these changes has nothing to do with my performance but he performance of my company, it still affects me. I have been down in the dumps the last few days and it has been emotionally draining. Trying to find a job, moving back to Vancouver in the next week, moving in with my parents who are then moving into their new house in White Rock, and on top of all of this training for Sandra Wickham...
The reality is, I need a few days to let everything sink in and feel what I was feeling but I feel a lot better today and I am 100% committed to doing as much as I can to support Brett, find a job and train to the best of my ability. This competition is very important to me and I have put a lot of time and energy into training and eating well the last 7 weeks that I would be disappointed in myself for giving up.
Ever since I lost my job on Monday and reached out to people in Vancouver I have had a few doors opens. I am a good employee with a great work ethic and need to get past the part that it was my fault. These things happen.
Last night could have been a turning point for me. I went and did a crazy HITT circuit on the treadmill and sweat out a lot of negativity and was working so hard I wasn't thinking about anything. With a clear head I went home and looked into some new opportunities that had come up. I also had a great talk with my GBF Jill who pointed out that I am not only on a paid vacation but I should look at it like I am getting paid to train! She was right. I have all the time I need and want to be able to eat well, train hard and rest. I want to have a trophy and I want to hear them call my name for 1st place!
One thing I also use to do to help keep me on track were post it notes. My sister knows more than anyone how much I love a post it. I also asked Brett if it would be okay to put my giant vision board up in the kitchen and he said "do whatever you need to do." He is just the most amazing guy and has definitely been my rock through this whole thing and supports my crazy passion for competing. I'm a lucky girl.....Please don't think this photo is conceded...it's what works for me. Its a good reminder for me that I can do it and I WILL DO IT! No excuses.
Yesterday I tried really hard to have a good day. My childhood best friend Julie happen to be in town for a few days and we spent the day being tourists in Victoria and doing some shopping but I just couldn't kick being sluggish and feeling like a piece of crap. All I kept doing was talking about what had happened and how I was feeling and being such a Negative Nancy. Luckily she is still in town and I can make it up to her because today is her last day before she goes back to Vancouver. I am taking her out for breakfast and then a walk along Dallas road. It will be good times.
This morning I was up at 4:45...yes am...to drive my friends to the airport and on the way home I was alone with my thoughts and plugged in my iPod and put Today is Your Day by Shania Twain on repeat. That one song speaks loudly to me and it reminds me that all I can focus on is today and that today is what I make of it. Finding something that grounds you or helps you focus can make all the difference when you feel like you are in a tough spot. It doesn't make everything better but it makes you realize whats important.  Yes, the last few days were hard and I found myself depressed and sluggish but I got my glow back and a few people at the gym noticed this morning and said, "you seem yourself today" and it's true. I won't let this bump in the road throw me off course. I will find a job and I will push myself everyday to train hard.
This experience will only make me stronger and I grow from it and be better because of it. There really is no other way of looking at it. In fact, I feel silly crying so much the last few days but much better that feeling sorry for myself is out of my system.
Onward and upward! Have a great Thursday :) Oh - and if you know of anyone that's hiring in Vancouver - drop me a line!

Train. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.
Nic Out xox